Four Rules of Masculinity, by Chris Illuminati
There are many things men should never do. Visit the naughty news girls to learn more about how to score hot webcam chicks and to practice with them live online. Here are 4 dude rules you should remember. No baths. No Aerobics.
Free Tits and Ass Ended by FTC
I get free tits and ass from the SoCalGlamourGirls, and I sure do tell everyone I love. Does the FTC require disclosure? Watch more naughty news from the hot bikini models and webcam chicks in their outrageous online magazine.
Sex Trends of the Decade
Lately everyone is sexting or having a HOT threesome. Learn more about sex trends at SoCalGlamourGirls from our naughty news girls and hot bikini models. Join their sexy social network and sign up for their outrageous interactive online magazine.
America’s Next Top Virgin
If you haven’t heard about it already, Elle Magazine gave us an update on Natalie Dylan. You know, the graduate student who auctioned off her virginity at the World Famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Nevada for 3.7 million dollars.
Unfortunately, The Australian businessman who won the bidding war reconciled with his wife and backed out of the deal. But, he did let Miss Dylan keep the $250,000 deposit. How awesome it that—a quarter of a million dollars for being a tease?
Natalie even got a book deal, movie deal and a TV deal out of her offer to be publically de-flowered.
The trend is catching on, reports Elle Magazine. Recently, a 21-year old virgin (yeah, right!) wrote in saying: “Why should I waste my virginity on a “meaningful” college boyfriend or a saggy sugar daddy when I can be launched into a life of caviar and beautiful clothes. Dennis Hof, owner of the Bunny Ranch, even plans to launch a spin-off of his HBO series “Cathouse” called “America’s Next Top Virgin.”
New idea? No. Elle reports that hymen-auctioning has been around since the beginning of time. Now there seems to be more of an efficient market for these particular goods.
What’s up with all these virgins in their twenties? I went to Catholic school and the only girls I knew who claimed to be virgins were the ones that took it in the ass all the time. Sugar daddies, is it really worth a million to break the hymen of some worn-out, gold digging anal freak? Hm. Maybe it is?
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Do You Have a Virtual Girl Friend?
Would you marry a virtual girl? Video date the naughty news girls and find out! In this video Veronica brings you the news about a man in Japan who married a virtual girl he met in the game Love Plus. Is virtual dating better than real life dating? Is virtual sex better and safer than real life sex? Join the bikini model social network of hot chicks and find out which you prefer.
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Two Hot Female Teachers Fired for Having Sex with Each Other!
Instead of having sex with their high school students, two hot teachers from James Madison High School in New York decided to get naked and have sex with each other in their classroom. HOT!
The 33 year old French teacher, Cindy Mauro, and the 29 year old Spanish teacher, Alini Brito, were referred to by the students as “kinda sexy” and “pretty fun”. “They used to wear low cut tops, shorts and dress like teenage girls,” said one student. Aye papi, I am getting so hot right now… Apparently, the two hot bi-sexual teachers (one was married) were caught in the act by a janitor. What? No ménage a trios for Frenchie, La Bonita and the janitor? Of course not. Him being a douchebag was the only way this story made the paper. If I had walked in on these two naked hotties, we’d still be busy. Visit the hot bikini models at SoCal GlamourGirls for more sexy, funny news from these naughty newscasters. Join their sexy social network, watch their goofy and hot videos and video date them live on their webcams or follow them 1:1 on Twitter.
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Sex Amnesia in My Sorority
Sex Amnesia or Forgetful Walk of Shame?
This week’s Sugar Daddy Update Sponsored by GoDaddy.com
Last week CNN investigated the startling rise of the medical condition “Transient Global Amnesia,” better known by my sorority sisters as “OMFG, Where Am I and Who are These Guys?!”
Dr. Louis Kaplan from Harvard Medical School reports that “Sex Amnesia” is common and usually occurs simultaneous with a significant change in blood flow caused by engaging in strenuous activity such as vigorous exercise or blowing three guys at the same time.
People with a history of migraines or who take the erectile dysfunction pill Levitra are more likely to encounter “Sex Amnesia,” report scientists from Harvard. Most victims repeat the same questions over and over again afterwards like “where am I?” or “why is my face so sticky?”
Luckily, most cases of “Sex Amnesia” do not cause permanent damage, which would surprise you if you knew my sorority sisters.
Don’t forget to buy your hosting services and domain names from GoDaddy.com, no matter who your daddy was last night!
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New Guitar Hero Makes Nirvana Fans Want to Kill
Nirvana Fans So Upset Over the New Guitar Hero, They Want to Blow Their Heads Off!
As you probably know, many of Nirvana’s fans are upset at the band’s new Guitar Hero game, especially because of the Avatar of the lead singer. It is indeed a little odd watching Cobain rock out to Bon Jovi’s “You Give Love a Bad Name.”
Ironically, it was Love who signed off on the avatar, even supplying Activision with pictures and video to emulate. Apparently, she didn’t realize that when Guitar Hero players unlock the avatar, that they can use it to play whatever song they want—even alongside cartoon characters.
A reader at Rolling Stone summed up the situation as follows: I wish fans would stop treating Cobain like Jesus. If he cared about what his Guitar Hero avatar looked like he probably shouldn’t have blown his head off.
I still can’t figure out why people don’t appreciate the avatar.
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10 Things Never to Say to a Girl with Huge Boobs
Wanna Touch Big Boobs? Better Listen Up!
Refrain from the following comments if you ever want to date a busty girl, from Asylum.com.
10. “I’m usually not that into giant boobs.” I know boyfriends think this is a compliment, but it makes us think that they usually go for girls built like cub scouts. Or actual cub scouts.
9. “How big are they?” Could God make a boob so big that even he cannot lift it? Think about that while you EFF OFF.
8. “I’m sorry, I can’t help staring at them.” Lame. Never seen big boobs before?
7. “I’m actually more of a leg man.” Really? Great. I prefer a large wang to a dinky one. Hey! I guess we’re not right for each other.
6. “Do you have back pain?” Are you trying to be sympathetic, or figure out if I have good prescription painkillers? Either way, I’m not sharing.
5. “I bet your mama gave those to you.” Actually, large breasts run on my father’s side of the family. You f–king creepster.
4. “Are they real?” You also shouldn’t ask somebody with a forked tongue if their forked tongue is real.
3. “Can I motorboat them?” Only if I can water taxi your nutsack, a-hole.
2. “You should work at Hooters.” Look, I have nothing but respect for those servers, but I have a job that doesn’t require me to wear nude hose with leather high-tops and bring sides of ranch to divorced dads in a shopping center.
1. “Nice t-ts.” Duh. I know.
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Hot Sex: Six Things You Never Knew, From a Hot Bikini Model
Hot Sex and Hot Sexy Girls Cure Headaches!
1. The average hook up lasts 15 minutes. 10 to 12 minutes of foreplay and 3 to 5 minutes of intercourse. That’s about 2.5 to 4.5 minutes longer than my ex and the reason why I like girls, they can go all night.
2. Humans, Dolphins and Chimpanzees all have recreational sex. I never new “KNKNKNknkn” meant “bang me like the dirty girl that I am.”
3. Premature ejaculation affects 27% of men, and is almost 3x as likely to affect a man than erectile dysfunction. Hm. It seems like 80% of my hook-ups blow their load as soon as I take off my shirt!
4. If a woman experiences orgasm during sex, she is more likely to become pregnant, because the orgasmic spasms move the sperm up the vaginal canal. Hey! Make me cum. Then, pull out. Got it?
5. Sex cures headaches. Endorphins released into our bloodstream during sex act as painkillers. Of course, why do you think I only notice the rug-burn after the rough sex?
6. 70% of women would rather eat chocolate than have sex. But, 70% of women are also fat. Wouldn’t you rather have a discreet cyber affair with an all American webcam girl who likes sex more than chocolate? I know I would.
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