Archive for October, 2009

Wanna Touch Big Boobs? Better Listen Up!

Refrain from the following comments if you ever want to date a busty girl, from Asylum.com.

10. “I’m usually not that into giant boobs.” I know boyfriends think this is a compliment, but it makes us think that they usually go for girls built like cub scouts. Or actual cub scouts.

9. “How big are they?” Could God make a boob so big that even he cannot lift it? Think about that while you EFF OFF.

Stop Staring at My Huge Boobs!

8. “I’m sorry, I can’t help staring at them.” Lame. Never seen big boobs before?

7. “I’m actually more of a leg man.” Really? Great. I prefer a large wang to a dinky one. Hey! I guess we’re not right for each other.

6. “Do you have back pain?” Are you trying to be sympathetic, or figure out if I have good prescription painkillers? Either way, I’m not sharing.

5. “I bet your mama gave those to you.” Actually, large breasts run on my father’s side of the family. You f–king creepster.

4. “Are they real?” You also shouldn’t ask somebody with a forked tongue if their forked tongue is real.

3. “Can I motorboat them?” Only if I can water taxi your nutsack, a-hole.

Yes, Asian School Girls Can Have Big Boobs Too! No Comments Please!

2. “You should work at Hooters.” Look, I have nothing but respect for those servers, but I have a job that doesn’t require me to wear nude hose with leather high-tops and bring sides of ranch to divorced dads in a shopping center.

1. “Nice t-ts.” Duh. I know.

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Hot Sex and Hot Sexy Girls Cure Headaches!

1. The average hook up lasts 15 minutes. 10 to 12 minutes of foreplay and 3 to 5 minutes of intercourse. That’s about 2.5 to 4.5 minutes longer than my ex and the reason why I like girls, they can go all night.

SoCal Glamour Girls Can Go ALL Night!

2. Humans, Dolphins and Chimpanzees all have recreational sex. I never new “KNKNKNknkn” meant “bang me like the dirty girl that I am.”

3. Premature ejaculation affects 27% of men, and is almost 3x as likely to affect a man than erectile dysfunction. Hm. It seems like 80% of my hook-ups blow their load as soon as I take off my shirt!

4. If a woman experiences orgasm during sex, she is more likely to become pregnant, because the orgasmic spasms move the sperm up the vaginal canal. Hey! Make me cum. Then, pull out. Got it?

5. Sex cures headaches. Endorphins released into our bloodstream during sex act as painkillers. Of course, why do you think I only notice the rug-burn after the rough sex?

Lexi HATES Rug Burn, But Likes Rough Hook Ups!

6. 70% of women would rather eat chocolate than have sex. But, 70% of women are also fat. Wouldn’t you rather have a discreet cyber affair with an all American webcam girl who likes sex more than chocolate? I know I would.

Sign up for our outrageous interactive online magazine and sexy social network where hot bikini models and naughty news girls from Southern California hang out live online in their bikinis and bring the sexy magazine to life. Read our sexy articles, watch our naughty and funny news videos or video date a sexy college girl / newscaster live on her webcam.

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Do you like naughty, scantily clad news casters bringing you hilarious reports of sexual mis-adventure? Judge Herman Thomas was initially accused of bringing inmates into his office and spanking them, similar to how California Assemblyman “Spanky” Duvall apparently spanked his hot female lobbyists before giving them government contracts. Judge Thomas is facing trial on charges of sodomy, kidnapping, extortion and ethics violations involving kinky sex, as well as the spankings.

Alabama Judge Caught (You Guessed It) Having Anal Sex with Prisoners

Chaselyn is Curious About Spankings as well as the Anal and Oral Parts of the Story...

He was initially accused of bringing inmates into his office and spanking them, similar to how California Assemblyman “Spanky” Duvall apparently spanked his hot female lobbyists before giving them government contracts.

Judge Thomas is facing trial on charges of sodomy, kidnapping, extortion and ethics violations involving oral and anal sex, as well as the spankings.

The judge’s leniency supports critics beliefs that Democrats are “soft” on crime. But, it seems he was clearly “hard” on….no, hard “for” criminals?

I guess if he was a Republican, he would have just given them cash?

Rumor has it that his favorite pick-up line was “You got a purdy mouth… and a heart shaped ass…”

Shea Displays Hearts, Ass and Heart Shaped Ass!

Sign up for our outrageous interactive online magazine and sexy social network where hot bikini models and naughty news girls from Southern California hang out live online in their bikinis and bring the sexy magazine to life . Read our sexy articles, watch our naughty and funny news videos or video date a sexy college girl / newscaster live on her webcam. Our members have access to the hottest and funniest video content, but they can video date these all American webcam girls and busty bikini models!

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Nagging Wife? Have a Discreet Cyber Affair!

Who says drinking a lot of vodka isn’t good for you? After downing 3 bottles of cheap vodka, a Russian man jumped off his 5th floor balcony.

Nagging Wife? Don't Jump! Date me Instead!

Twice! Alexei Roskov says he jumped the second time because…. Wait for it…. He couldn’t handle his wife nagging him about the first time.

I doubt this was the first time a man jumped off a tall building to get away from a nagging wife. I hear it happens every day in the States. However, this time, the jumper lived to share his story. “I have no idea why I jumped the first time, but when I came back up and heard my wife screaming angrily as me, I thought it was best if I left the room again—out of the window,” recalls Roskov.

American men, don’t jump! If you wife is nagging too much, just have a safe and sexy discreet cyber affair with a hot Russian girl like me. I am here for you, baby.

These Legs can Jump, But I Prefer to use them to Hump...

Register for free to video date this hot Russian glamour model or her all American webcam girl friends from SoCalGlamourGirls. Come meet these busty bikini models and hot webcam chicks, watch their naughty news videos, and download their topless and nude photoshoots and videos. We promise they won’t make you want to jump of a tall building! (But, they might make you feel tall in the pants!)

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Enjoy sexy social networking, but having trouble getting laid? British newspapers report that a woman sex addict (if there are those…) started a Facebook Group called, “I Need Sex” and hooked up with over 50 men, before she was shut down. Where is she now, you ask? Register and video date our hot bikini models if you are frustrated with online dating and tired of not being able to find hot chicks addicted to sex in real life!

If Sleeping with 50 Men on Facebook is Wrong, I don't Wanna be Right!

The British newspaper Metro recently reported on a Facebook sex-addict that reportedly slept with over 50 men she met through the sometimes sexy social networking site.

Laura Michaels, 23, set up a Facebook Group called “I Need Sex” on the site, apparently because she needed sex. Within 10 minutes the group had 35 members and soon attracted 100 men, 50 of whom she slept with.
This is what they call front page news in Great Britain?

Just about every 23 year old girl I know has slept with more than 50 random guys they have met on Facebook. In fact, that is precisely why Mark Zuckerburg and his geeky friends founded the company in their Harvard dorm room. They needed to get laid!

Maybe this made headlines in London because a group called “I Need Sex” only had 100 members, while a group called “Addicted to World of Warcraft” has 33,000 members. Those dudes should definitely be put in the “I Need Sex” group!

Stacia Doesn't Need to be in the I Need Sex Group, but She Does Like Group Sex!

Our research team surveyed internet users and determined that the only way Laura Michaels could have ONLY attracted 100 men in her Facebook group, even though they had a 50% chance of getting laid, was if she was fat and nasty. In the States, the Metro did what we call “burying the lead.”

Hm. Maybe those 33,000 World of Warcraft geeks are right after all? Those avatars are hot!

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